This has been a very challenging week. We had our first real disagreement on Thursday, then went away on a business trip from Friday through Monday. We had another minor disagreement over the weekend, brought on I think by not having any alone time at all. I guess we are well past vanilla, given that even 3 days of pure vanilla interactions made us very edgy and irritable.
I say pure vanilla, but we still managed to have crazy sex a couple of times a day; once at sunset, both of us standing outside the van with my face pushed into the passenger seat. Richard saw a huge shooting star but couldn’t get me up from the seat fast enough to see it. 😦 Another time on a couch and WE ALMOST GOT WALKED IN ON OMFG. Richard was amused, I was horrified.
But I digress. I have been very bad. Seriously. I did not tell Richard about something important that happened to me, because it had to do with a past relationship and it was embarrassing. It has been torturing me that I hadn’t told him about it, and I finally did today (and do NOT email and ask what it was, cuz I will NOT tell you. honest. too embarrassing.)
He was wonderful. I was scared that he was going to break up with me and I was crying like crazy and he was so wonderful. He told me that he loved me and he knew who I was and that no matter what, he still owned me and that wasn’t going to change.
We talked about it for a while, and then I ASKED FOR A PUNISHMENT.
I can’t believe I did that. First of all, I am so NOT a masochist. Also, I try hard to behave well AND I have a proud streak a mile wide. So asking for a punishment – I really never thought that would happen. But I so want to be over feeling guilty about this, that I asked for a punishment.
What a dumb idea. Asking a sadist for a punishment. What on earth was I thinking?
Here’s the punishment. Remember I’m still a bit anxious about anal intercourse? And we’ve only done it four times?
My punishment is: I don’t get to cum again until he has cum in my ass.
Which he has never done.
Which he has seldom ever done in his life.
Which means that I will be begging him to fuck me in the ass.
Which I could never in my wildest imaginings have imagined myself doing.
In fact, I got a spanking today because he was fucking me (NOT in my ass, just to torment me) and I said “you’re not going to cum in my pussy, are you?”, hoping that he would flip me over and cum in my ass. This was seen as disrespectful, and I can see how it was seen that way.
Harumph, nonetheless. Looks like another challenging week is ahead of me.