The first time I went to a BDSM club

On Friday night, Richard & I went to a private BDSM club. I was nervous, but SO excited. I really had no idea what to expect. It was a male Dom/ fem sub night, and Richard said that in his experience the women would be nude or wearing very little. Since this was my first time to a club, he didn’t want me to feel anxious or shy, so he let me wear a (tight) black t-shirt and mini-skirt, with Converse sneakers. For a while.

It was in a kinda creepy, warehouse-y part of town (not our town). Richard says that’s because you need a lot of space for a dungeon, so you need to rent where it’s cheap. I think we were probably the only patrons with a mini-van.

When we entered, we had to fill out a form and show our IDs, which kinda freaked me out. But everyone was really nice, and a regular there showed us around.

Actually, the first thing he showed us was his “bitch” as he called her. She was about six foot tall – he was maybe 5’8″ and twice her age. Big, blond girl. Corn fed. Buck naked. Well, not quite naked; she had on a leather harness and nipple rings and heels.

He showed us around the place – they have over 6000 square feet in about 15 or 20 rooms. And all this equipment that someone(s) had lovingly made – spanking benches and flogging stations and THREE St. Andrew’s crosses.

There was a group of people hanging out around an outdoor fire. They seemed to be normal, and they had a normal amount of clothing on, albeit all black.

Then a young-ish guy walked in, holding the end of a leash. On the other end of the leash was a girl wearing a leather skirt and nothing else. He walked her into the main room and tied her to an overhead bar.

Meanwhile, we were the object of much interest and good wishes. Several doms descended on us and wanted to know how we’d discovered BDSM and each other, and offer advice on meeting more like-minded people, and tell us what equipment was the most fun, etc. I kept shrinking further and further behind Richard, who was very friendly and pleasant to everybody.

Richard finally had pity on me and took me for a walk around the dungeon, away from our well-wishers. We walked into the main room, and there were TWO women tied up at stations, with their Doms smacking them with various implements.

Richard sat us down next to one of the stations – too close it turned out, because the woman made a LOT of noise and it started freaking me out. I THINK they were happy sounds, but I couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t too loud when her Dom was flogging her but then he began finger-fucking her and she got really loud. I whispered to Richard and asked if he was hurting her but he said she was probably an exhibitionist and making a lot of noise was part of her kink. We moved to the other side of the room.

This gave us a better view of the youngish couple I mentioned above. He was flogging her and then he would stop and rub her back and kiss her neck and see how she was doing. I could see him caressing her and she would start to relax and then he would twist her nipple hard and she would shriek and he would go back to flogging her. Later in the night he untied her and had her sit down. He gave her water and dried her off and cuddled her. Then he put a mask on her and took her over to a corner and made her give him a blowjob. Wow.

After a while, when we’d wandered around a bit and seen a few things, I felt comfortable enough to change. Richard put on my collar and corset and I slipped into a pair of heels. Richard had me sit at his feet while we watched some scenes. He asked me what I liked best and I said I liked the spanking bench.

He took me to one of the rooms with a spanking bench. It was the most private room there, but we had to walk through a room with several people in it, standing around talking.

He had me climb onto the bench. I was nervous, but he was very calm and gentle and just kept talking to me. He showed me how my legs and arms are buckled in. He rubbed my back and talked to me gently and I started to feel comfortable.

I thought he would have me get up then. But instead, he slapped me on the ass. I squeaked. Quietly, because there was a bunch of people just one room over. He slapped me again and I squeaked again. Then he reached between my legs and rubbed me, over my panties, gently. Then he spanked me again, harder.

I realized that there was no way that the people in the other room couldn’t hear the spanking. I felt embarrassed, but I didn’t say anything. I’m not sure why; I think it was because I was feeling so submissive and so turned on.

He spanked me for a few minutes, alternating with rubbing me and teasing me. I could tell my panties were getting wet from my excitement. I was embarrassed, but even more turned on.

After a few minutes, he unbuckled me and pulled me up. As I stood up, I realized people were coming around the corner to see what we were doing. Ack! Richard took me into his arms and kissed me deeply, positioning my face away from the door. I heard the group come in, look around and leave – probalby disappointed to have missed the spanking. Richard says a lot of the people at BDSM clubs are voyeurs and come to watch, not play.

He took me by the wrist and led me back to the main room, where a man was giving a woman a major flogging on the central stage. She looked gorgeous, kneeling on a bench and leaning against a higher one. There is something about that position – legs spread, ass in the air – that is incredibly sexy.

Her Dom was giving her a flogging that I am still stunned by. She must have entered sub-space, because she barely made a sound and her body was moving in rhythm to the background music. He was talking to her, telling her how to breathe, re-positioning her. He would stop and dry her off and stroke her and then pick up the flogger again.

I could tell from how he talked to her that he knew her well, knew what she could take and what she wanted. It seemed to me that he loved her.

Humans are amazing. To want to cause that kind of pain, to want to receive that kind of pain…amazing. How wonderful that they found each other.

As we watched them, with me at Richard’s feet, he began to brush my breasts with his hands, then slip his fingers inside my bra and play with my nipples. People walked by, but he didn’t stop. Later, the man who initially showed us around came up with his sub. Richard continued to play with my breasts as they spoke. It’s funny, I felt a little shy but not as much as I expected. I felt very owned, and safe in that, and very submissive and passive. It was very erotic.

I am still processing everything we saw. Last night we went to another, quite different BDSM club. I’ll write about that tomorrow.

I think this is going to have a big impact on Richard’s and my relationship. I am feeling extremely submissive and focused on him. I can tell that it has made him want to do more, to take more control, to try some new things (eg we haven’t really “scened” per se). It will be interesting to see where it takes us.

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Ownership, sharing and monogamy

Richard has discussed in an earlier post his interest in MMF threesomes, and his decision NOT to pursue them in our relationship. His decision was based on my very clear, very loud concerns about them (basically having to do with the potential physical and emotional dangers of bringing another man into the relationship), which led him to feel that it would be psychologically harmful to me to pursue them.

Mia, who posts here sometimes and has a great blog “What We Did Last Night”, posted about a MMF threesome she had recently. I loved her post and it helped me to understand what Richard meant when he talked about what turned him on about them: the woman’s over-stimulation and loss of self-control.

And for him, it is the ultimate sign of ownership, to share what is yours with another.
Amy – owned by Richard
I have always been monogamous. I think maybe I fall in love with anyone I fuck. I actually read something recently that supported that idea; oxytocin levels rise after fucking, oxytocin is a “bonding” hormone (grossly oversimplified), I figure I probably have the world’s highest naturally occurring levels of oxytocin. I am so completely focused on Richard that it is hard to imagine being attracted to another man, much less fucking him! And fucking him while Richard watches! Or joins in! Ack!

However, I’ve been thinking about threesomes a lot lately, because I know how erotic Richard finds them. I think maybe they are his biggest turn-on. I wonder if maybe I feel secure enough in our relationship to try this. It scares me, but maybe being scared can be part of the eroticism, like it is with being blindfolded or handcuffed. I really don’t know.

Richard says that every fantasy he has acted out/lived has turned out much better than he expected. I’ve always felt that fantasies are just that, and don’t need to be lived to be enjoyed. But now I’m living a life that I didn’t even know enough to fantasize about, and it’s WONDERFUL. So maybe this would be the same.

After we had been talking online for about a month, Richard sent me the following short-short story. (I had to dig and dig through my email to find it. I LOVE reading our old emails. The yearning!) I found the story very hot, but didn’t seriously consider it as something that could or would ever happen. I still find it hot…

Answering Richard’s call, Amy entered the room.

A man she didn’t recognize stood talking to Richard.

“Stand here,” Richard said. Then to the man, “show me what you meant.”

Amy, barefoot in a delicate t-shirt and sarong, waited as the stranger deftly untied the sarong, letting it drop to the floor.

Naked from the waist down, Amy stood shyly as the man used her lower body to illustrate some complex tattoo he had once seen, turning Amy around once to show exactly how it had risen over someone’s buttocks.

The demonstration over, Amy waited quietly.

“Beautiful woman,” said the man, almost as an afterthought.

“Yes she is,” answered Richard. “Listen, why don’t you stay for dinner?” With a nod indicating Amy, “We can sit up later with whiskey, and take turns fucking her by the fire.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

Richard turned to Amy.

“One more for dinner.”