Review of our first night in a BDSM club

Amy has given a good description of our first night at a club. One thing that she didn’t seem to realize was just exactly why some many Doms were talking to us. She assumed that we were all talking “Domly” stuff that she found uninteresting. I pointed out to her that they were talking to me because they wanted to fuck her.

The thought horrified her, and she claims not to believe it, but I’ve been around enough to know better. If you want to play with someone’s slave, you have to go through her owner, not through her. So, Amy makes me more popular than I usually am. I also pointed out to her that I have been offered the use of someone’s slave before at a dungeon, and she is dealing with the thought/fear that I could do the same.

Anyway, the next night found us at a different club, a very elegant club with theme rooms, a dance floor, a bar, etc., and with house submissives that tend to your needs, to a certain degree, anyway (Some needs, you just gotta bring your own slave).
Amy adjusting

We saw a school room, a dungeon, a sissy maids room – all sorts of great facilities. But the best part was watching the play.

Early on, we watched a lesbian couple doing some flogging, and just generally enjoyed the ambiance.

Then, a couple of plushies and a few cross dressers showed up, as well as some intriguing Dominatrices and others. Some nice corsets, a tall brunette schoolgirl, and a stunning pigtailed anime styled blond asian woman. A nice mix of people; my kind of people, so I felt really at home.

Amy and I wandered off through the many secluded rooms and hallways, with me stopping from time to time to ease a breast out of her corset, and play with her nipples as she took a sharp intake of breath. Once I lifted her skirt and played with her ass, which made her visibly nervous, and in another room she laid back on an examining table while I held a hand over her eyes and played with a few vulnerable parts of her body, as passers-by peeked in for a casual glance at what was going on.

I think the sexiest part of the night, other than Amy and I playing with each other, was watching some extended play a man did with a woman tied almost nude to a chair largely woven from metal braid. He did far more than just flog her, whipping her pierced breasts repeatedly, invading her mouth with his fingers at will, and putting a satisfying beating on her in general, from her thighs to her belly. Quite sexy, and with the assistance of his submissive dressed as a plushie – some kind of bear I think – a very visually appealing overall, with a nice level of flair.

In the same room, at the same time, a complete novice was being shown how to use a flogger by a friendly and experienced Dominatrix. She showed a lot of patience and gave some really good tips to a man who seemed to have never held a flogger before.

We left the club some time after midnight, and in the parking lot, I helped Amy ease out of her corset for the ride back home. She’s beginning to get used to dressing and undressing in intriguing places, which bodes well for the future!

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The first time I went to a BDSM club

On Friday night, Richard & I went to a private BDSM club. I was nervous, but SO excited. I really had no idea what to expect. It was a male Dom/ fem sub night, and Richard said that in his experience the women would be nude or wearing very little. Since this was my first time to a club, he didn’t want me to feel anxious or shy, so he let me wear a (tight) black t-shirt and mini-skirt, with Converse sneakers. For a while.

It was in a kinda creepy, warehouse-y part of town (not our town). Richard says that’s because you need a lot of space for a dungeon, so you need to rent where it’s cheap. I think we were probably the only patrons with a mini-van.

When we entered, we had to fill out a form and show our IDs, which kinda freaked me out. But everyone was really nice, and a regular there showed us around.

Actually, the first thing he showed us was his “bitch” as he called her. She was about six foot tall – he was maybe 5’8″ and twice her age. Big, blond girl. Corn fed. Buck naked. Well, not quite naked; she had on a leather harness and nipple rings and heels.

He showed us around the place – they have over 6000 square feet in about 15 or 20 rooms. And all this equipment that someone(s) had lovingly made – spanking benches and flogging stations and THREE St. Andrew’s crosses.

There was a group of people hanging out around an outdoor fire. They seemed to be normal, and they had a normal amount of clothing on, albeit all black.

Then a young-ish guy walked in, holding the end of a leash. On the other end of the leash was a girl wearing a leather skirt and nothing else. He walked her into the main room and tied her to an overhead bar.

Meanwhile, we were the object of much interest and good wishes. Several doms descended on us and wanted to know how we’d discovered BDSM and each other, and offer advice on meeting more like-minded people, and tell us what equipment was the most fun, etc. I kept shrinking further and further behind Richard, who was very friendly and pleasant to everybody.

Richard finally had pity on me and took me for a walk around the dungeon, away from our well-wishers. We walked into the main room, and there were TWO women tied up at stations, with their Doms smacking them with various implements.

Richard sat us down next to one of the stations – too close it turned out, because the woman made a LOT of noise and it started freaking me out. I THINK they were happy sounds, but I couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t too loud when her Dom was flogging her but then he began finger-fucking her and she got really loud. I whispered to Richard and asked if he was hurting her but he said she was probably an exhibitionist and making a lot of noise was part of her kink. We moved to the other side of the room.

This gave us a better view of the youngish couple I mentioned above. He was flogging her and then he would stop and rub her back and kiss her neck and see how she was doing. I could see him caressing her and she would start to relax and then he would twist her nipple hard and she would shriek and he would go back to flogging her. Later in the night he untied her and had her sit down. He gave her water and dried her off and cuddled her. Then he put a mask on her and took her over to a corner and made her give him a blowjob. Wow.

After a while, when we’d wandered around a bit and seen a few things, I felt comfortable enough to change. Richard put on my collar and corset and I slipped into a pair of heels. Richard had me sit at his feet while we watched some scenes. He asked me what I liked best and I said I liked the spanking bench.

He took me to one of the rooms with a spanking bench. It was the most private room there, but we had to walk through a room with several people in it, standing around talking.

He had me climb onto the bench. I was nervous, but he was very calm and gentle and just kept talking to me. He showed me how my legs and arms are buckled in. He rubbed my back and talked to me gently and I started to feel comfortable.

I thought he would have me get up then. But instead, he slapped me on the ass. I squeaked. Quietly, because there was a bunch of people just one room over. He slapped me again and I squeaked again. Then he reached between my legs and rubbed me, over my panties, gently. Then he spanked me again, harder.

I realized that there was no way that the people in the other room couldn’t hear the spanking. I felt embarrassed, but I didn’t say anything. I’m not sure why; I think it was because I was feeling so submissive and so turned on.

He spanked me for a few minutes, alternating with rubbing me and teasing me. I could tell my panties were getting wet from my excitement. I was embarrassed, but even more turned on.

After a few minutes, he unbuckled me and pulled me up. As I stood up, I realized people were coming around the corner to see what we were doing. Ack! Richard took me into his arms and kissed me deeply, positioning my face away from the door. I heard the group come in, look around and leave – probalby disappointed to have missed the spanking. Richard says a lot of the people at BDSM clubs are voyeurs and come to watch, not play.

He took me by the wrist and led me back to the main room, where a man was giving a woman a major flogging on the central stage. She looked gorgeous, kneeling on a bench and leaning against a higher one. There is something about that position – legs spread, ass in the air – that is incredibly sexy.

Her Dom was giving her a flogging that I am still stunned by. She must have entered sub-space, because she barely made a sound and her body was moving in rhythm to the background music. He was talking to her, telling her how to breathe, re-positioning her. He would stop and dry her off and stroke her and then pick up the flogger again.

I could tell from how he talked to her that he knew her well, knew what she could take and what she wanted. It seemed to me that he loved her.

Humans are amazing. To want to cause that kind of pain, to want to receive that kind of pain…amazing. How wonderful that they found each other.

As we watched them, with me at Richard’s feet, he began to brush my breasts with his hands, then slip his fingers inside my bra and play with my nipples. People walked by, but he didn’t stop. Later, the man who initially showed us around came up with his sub. Richard continued to play with my breasts as they spoke. It’s funny, I felt a little shy but not as much as I expected. I felt very owned, and safe in that, and very submissive and passive. It was very erotic.

I am still processing everything we saw. Last night we went to another, quite different BDSM club. I’ll write about that tomorrow.

I think this is going to have a big impact on Richard’s and my relationship. I am feeling extremely submissive and focused on him. I can tell that it has made him want to do more, to take more control, to try some new things (eg we haven’t really “scened” per se). It will be interesting to see where it takes us.

Buying whips to punish the wife

We finally got the kids sent off Monday night. That evening we had a quiet dinner and stared shell-shocked at the upside-down house.

Yesterday morning we woke up early and snuggled for a bit, then I got up and made coffee and a nice breakfast. We both got lots of work done and put the house in order.

In the afternoon, we went to a feed store. I wanted to bring home baby chicks, but had to settle for a stock tank that we are going to modify into a hot tub (there are websites that show you how to do this!) Richard headed off into the horse section and suddenly I hear him from across the store: “Pony girl!”

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Oh.My.God.

I looked across and he was grinning from ear to ear, waving a pair of hobbles in the air.

“Look at these!”

I scampered over to him, so he’d stop talking so loudly, even though I was waiting for a store clerk to bring me some eye drops for our dog.

“Richard. Shhh. People can hear you.”

“Have you seen the WHIPS? They’re so CHEAP!”

He headed over to a bucket full of whips and riding crops, touching every kind of horse paraphernalia you can imagine along the way, exclaiming as he went. I followed, whispering quietly that people could HEAR him, we were going to get KICKED OUT before we got our stock tank if he didn’t BE QUIET.

He pulled out what looked like a buggy whip – about four foot of rod and two foot of whip – and cracked it over his head: “This is only TEN BUCKS! I could really use this on you!”

At this point the store clerk (a really cute, hunky young guy, incidentally) found me and handed me the eye drops, while eyeing Richard cautiously. I thanked him, but he didn’t go away for the rest of our visit, following me from the horse supplies, where Richard continued to rifle through the crops and whips, to the pet supplies, to the baby chicks. I bet he was looking for bruises. I told Richard that he probably slipped a note into my bag offering assistance. Richard said no, he probably slipped a note into HIS pocket offering to help whip me. Hmph.

I figured I was in for trouble when we got home, but the ride seemed to settle him down. We had a nice, quiet, vanilla evening. I was finishing up a project on-line and Richard was reading on the couch next to me. I was uploading a series of graphics and started complaining about how long it was taking. This perked Richard up.

“Here. I’ll spank you while it uploads. Then you won’t be bored.”

“Um, gosh, thanks. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Nope. C’mere.”

So I laid across his lap and he pulled down my panties and spanked me, keeping an eye on the computer. When the upload completed, he pulled up my panties and let me sit up. It was a weird transition, with my bottom still stinging, trying to get back to my logical thinky-brain. I started to upload another graphic, making sure not to complain this time. To no avail.

“C’mon. Back up.”

“Richardddd…”

“Now.”

Damn, this one was a really large file. He spanked me for a long time, and he was spanking harder. I couldn’t help squeaking a few times when he really connected.

“Your ass is getting really red. I like this. You’re not so bored now, are you?”

One final graphic, and this one was shorter. By the end of this one, my ass was really stinging and hot. Plus I was feeling very submissive and very turned on.

We went up to the bedroom and I went into the closet and got the riding crop and brought it to Richard. I still can’t believe I did this! Am I getting braver or stupider?? But the look on his face was worth it – it made him so happy.

He caressed it and said “This is much nicer than the ones at the store.”

“I know. It was more expensive too, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. C’mere.”

So I got swatted with the crop a few times, which was stingy but not much stingier than a spanking (shh, don’t tell Richard) and then I got very nicely fucked. But he didn’t cum, which concerned me a little, because when Richard doesn’t cum he starts feeling aggressive.

I’ve noticed this – if we fuck and he doesn’t cum, he’s very focused on me and a bit rough when he handles me, and if we fuck and he doesn’t cum AGAIN, then he’s even more focused and more aggressive. And so on. And with the kids now gone, there was no need for him to be quiet or worry about keeping me quiet.

And my fears were justified. I have to do some work now, so I’ll write about what happened in the middle of the night on my next post. Sorry to be a tease…

Who’s your daddy?

Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone?
…I got a bad desire
…I’m on fire
 – Bruce Springsteen

I’ve always loved the menace of those lines. And I love the way it showcases the Daddy/little girl dynamic that Amy has posted about.

She and I have been finding our own way through an unusual relationship, one that isn’t part of the mainstream, and yet in so many ways sits squarely astride classic Middle America values. There are days when I’m Ricky Fucking Ricardo bending Lucy over his knee for a good old fashioned spanking.

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Seriously, how far back does the image of the husband commanding his wife go back? And yet, it’s not exactly who we are.

Amy doesn’t need discipline.

So we aren’t exactly Ricky and Lucy.

And do we need to define ourselves at all?

Will the thought police show up and drag me off as a perv if I call her “baby”, and if she calls me her “stallion,” will they round her up as a potential horse fucker?

Daddy/Little Girl.

It’s a dynamic, not literal.

Amy posted about how Master/slave didn’t capture the dynamic; nor did owner/owned. Neither does husband/wife.

Amy has two other nicknames for me – “The Boss,” and “The Bad Man.” On a good day, maybe “The Bad, Bad, Baaaaaad Man.”

But our relationship involves a more nurturing role for me. And Amy is not a pain slut who craves constant discipline. Amy is eager to be a very good girl. Disobedience is simply out of the question for her.

So.

What kind of relationship has a woman very eager to obey her partner, without question, and have him make the decisions and care for her needs?

For us, it’s a Daddy/girl dynamic.

It’s the most accurate descriptor for how the two of us interact.

In some ways it feels VERY vanilla. I mean, it’s a common theme in mainstream culture, from music to books to sugar daddies and typical flirtation between couples. For me, I grew up in an arch-conservative evangelical Protestant religion. We had an elderly couple in our church, pillars as it were – easily the most influential couple in our little community. He was on the church board, an elder, etc., and his wife, a white haired beehive fashion plate, led out almost weekly in some part of the service, and often referred to her husband.

She called him “Daddy.”

On formal occasions, she would add his last name after the word “Daddy.”

Maybe they were kinksters.

I think of the deep south. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof – Big Daddy. I see the Daddy/little girl dynamic almost everywhere – it appears to be timeless.

That will reassure Amy. She’s still convinced she’s vanilla.

But for now, who’s your Daddy?

Amy, I’m your Daddy.

Delaying sex to make her more horny

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’d hoped to get Richard drunk on daquiris and seduce him Tuesday night. To no avail. A few minutes after posting my wicked plans, I passed out face down on the couch. Honestly, he must have slipped something into my drink because no way do I get drunk that easily. Or maybe the long day had weakened my tolerance…

I woke up to the dog barking. Richard came over because I was so confused and gently helped me up. I couldn’t figure out what time or day it was. He finally managed to get me upstairs, where I proceeded to fall face first on the bed.

He took off my clothes and tucked me into bed.

I woke up in the morning feeling fine. We sleep in spoons, with my ass in his lap and his arms around me, holding my wrists in his hands. I wiggled around and snuggled up under his arm. He pulled me closer.

I started kissing his neck and nibbling on his chest and shoulders. He squeezed me tighter but didn’t open his eyes.

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I rubbed my chest against his. This usually works to wake him up. Today he just caressed me lightly for a moment then fell back asleep.

I flipped over and wiggled my ass against his belly. That woke him up.

“What are you doing, little girl?” he said groggily.

I giggled. He grabbed me by the hip and pulled me closer. I ground into him.

He groaned and buried his face in my hair. I could feel him nuzzling the back of my neck. His hand reached around to my breasts. He caressed them gently then began playing with my nipples.

But after a couple of minutes he fell back asleep!

This was challenging. I really needed him to fuck me. After a couple of minutes of fruitlessly rubbing and wiggling and snuggling, I knew that I had to do something more.

“Would you please spank me?”

“What?”

“Please spank me Richard. I really need a spanking.”

“Really? You WANT a spanking?”

“Yes please.”

He was wide awake.

“Roll over.”

“Yes sir.”

I rolled over. Then I got nervous.

“I don’t need a HARD spanking. Just a LITTLE spanking is fine.”

“Oh really.”

He began smacking my bottom, moving from side to side.

“Oh! Yes, just a little. Oh!”

“You want to decide how much spanking you get?”

He smacked a bit harder, and then he stayed in one place for a few smacks. That hurts worse.

I didn’t want to answer that question. Yes, of course I want to decide. But if I say that, will I get in more trouble? Probably. I kept quiet. Well, except for the inadvertent squeaks when he smacked me particularly hard.

But then he stopped and rolled me over and looked into my eyes.

“I like spanking you.”

“Yes.” (I know that, that’s why I asked him to spank me. I was hoping it would get me laid.)

He reached out, took my hand and placed it on his cock. His hard cock.

“I really like spanking you.”

“Ooooohhhh.”

And then, before I had time to think, he flipped me back onto my belly, hauled my ass into the air and slammed his cock into me. And it just got better from there.

So I did seduce him, eventually. No thanks to the daquiris.

I need a good spanking

The last week or so has been really hectic. Busy at work; even having to work the last couple of weekends. Lots of stuff going on socially. And we’ve had the kids for five days straight. Not much alone time, not much time for romance or D/s play.

Plus Richard has had severely congested ears for several weeks now. Not too painful, but he’s having a hard time hearing anything. (And don’t get me started on how much fun I’m getting out of, anytime he says he’s having trouble hearing, saying “What?” I trick him into repeating himself about half the time. Chortle.)

He finally decided to bite the bullet and take an antihistamine and decongestant, probably just to shut me up with the “what?” joke. So for the last few nights he’s been out like a light and he’s had trouble waking up in the morning.

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Which means…no bedtime fucking, no middle-of-the-night fucking, and severely reduced morning fucking. In fact, two mornings ago we were having GREAT sex, really getting into the groove, Richard had me pinned to the bed with one hand, my ass in the other and was fucking the lights out of me, when the ALARM RANG. Richard grabbed at it, fumbled and poked at several switches, and finally gave up with a sigh, pulled away from me and slammed it quiet.

I was kinda wishing I was the alarm clock. I kinda woulda liked to have been slammed quiet. If you know what I mean.

But I digress. I’m still getting fucked at least daily (notice I didn’t say anything about naps *smirk*). But, because we’re time constrained and tired and drugged (well, Richard is) and need to be quiet cuz of the midgets, we’re not doing a lot of D/s play.

I feel…unfocused. I don’t feel as submissive as I usually do, I don’t feel as controlled, I don’t feel as overwhelmingly focused on Richard. The rest of our life has grown up around us over the last week, and I don’t like it.

Remember I said I’m not a masochist?

Well, all day long I’ve been thinking about how NICE it would be if Richard were to get really stern with me and scold me for something I’ve done and then give me a long, hard spanking. Long enough and hard enough to make me cry. And then fuck me, while my red, hot ass was still throbbing from the spanking.

Making her starved for orgasms

Amy hadn’t cum for a day or two, and really wanted to cum. The previous night, at some small hour of the morning, I awoke when Amy bit my neck in her sleep. She wanted to cum, she told me. I told her the next night I wanted to put her in chains and explore her body with my mouth, and that I would have her cum then.

We went to bed early that following night, skipping dinner, and neglecting the rest of “The Last Tango in Paris.” Amy was anxious; a woman used to coming daily, and now orgasm starved for – well I don’t remember exactly how long. Long enough, apparently. I reminded her about the chains, which she had thought was just a sleep induced thought of mine from the night before, and offered to go get her chains.

I said “No.”

I didn’t want her doing anything.

I got the chains myself.

I made her lie patiently on the bed, awaiting my return. Then, as I fitted the chains to her body, I explained to her that this was for my pleasure, and she wasn’t to do anything, just to respond in whatever way her body led her. I carefully made certain that she knew I wanted to explore her body for my own interests, and that I wasn’t interested in giving her an orgasm, but that I would play with her as long as I felt like it, and when I had had my fill of exploring her, she would then masturbate for me.

After chaining her, I flipped her over on her belly, and began exploring her back and arms with my mouth and hands. After a while, I moved down to her lower back, and then to her ass. With the chains on her ankles, I couldn’t open her ass cheeks as easily as I would have liked, as her legs could only spread so wide, but I was still able to use my tongue and fingers to test her little asshole in various ways. Her hips began to move rather rhythmically at times.

Gentle whimpers.

A pleasant background music to my own focused interest.

Some time later, I rolled her onto her back, and explored her belly and thighs with my mouth and hands. I left aside her breasts, as I knew she would likely writhe and thrash if I explored them, and I wanted a quieter, more contemplative ambience.

I eventually found my way to her pussy, and played with it until I grew tired of exploring, my lips fully satiated with the taste of Amy’s delicious body, and moved alongside her to twist her nipples as she masturbated herself to a mandated orgasm.

She came fast.

I held her for a while after she came, then later I fucked her, long after her own orgasm had subsided, for the delicious pleasure of just using her body. The chains make entering her a bit awkward, but the different angle of penetration is always welcome, and I came in her with a sharp intensity.

Spanking while being sick

I have a really bad cold. I am coughing and wheezing and miserable. Last night Richard took pity on me and told me that we weren’t going to play, even though the kids were gone for the first time in five days. He took me to bed early, pulled me into his arms, and said “Go to sleep, baby.”

He said I was asleep in seconds.

This morning I woke, as I often do, to him playing with my breasts. He pinched my nipples and I moaned. His hand slipped between my closed legs.

“Open.”

“Wider.”

As he played with my clit, my hips began to move and when he slipped a finger inside me, I shuddered.

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“I know you’re not feeling good. But I want to play with you. You don’t have to do anything. Fall back asleep if you’d like.”

Then he began to explore my body with his hands and his mouth, slowly.

It felt heavenly and I did start to drift off a few times. But then he began to play with my ass, and I woke up. He slid his thumb into my ass, and then he slid a couple of fingers into my pussy.

Oooooh, it felt nice. I moved my hips a tiny bit, but he didn’t respond. He just kept his hand in place, thumb in my ass, fingers in my pussy, fingers resting against my clit.

After a while, I dozed off a bit, but then I woke to him fucking me with his fingers. This time when I moaned, he pulled his fingers out, flipped me over and slid his cock into me.

He fucked me for a while, while telling me that he was sorry that I was sick, that he knew I was too tired to want to fuck, but that he wanted to, so too bad. Then he pulled out and told me to masturbate. I whimpered and said I was too tired. I wouldn’t be able to cum.

“OK. If you don’t want to masturbate, that’s fine. I’ll hurt you instead. You know hurting you turns me on too.”

“Nonononono! I’ll masturbate! I will!”

“Too late. Now I’m excited about hurting you.”

So he did. I had thought I was safe from being hurt for a while. He doesn’t want to make any bruises right now, because he wants to take pictures over the next few days and he says bruises take too long to Photoshop out.

He reached over to my right nipple and twisted it, hard. I squeaked and tried to pull away. He held me down and kept twisting.

“Oh God, I love hurting you. Look how hard I am already.”

He pulled my hand down to his cock, which was rock hard. Then he reached for my left nipple and twisted it. Hard. He had me pinned down, so I was bucking but couldn’t get away.

“I’m going to fuck you while I’m hurting you.”

He rolled on top of me and slipped in easily. If I’m not a masochist, why does it make me so wet when he hurts me? Gah.

As he was fucking me, he was staring into my eyes. His eyes are really scary when he gets like this.

“I don’t want to give you any bruises right now. So I think I’ll take your air away. That doesn’t leave bruises.”

He pinched my nose shut, and clamped down with his mouth on mine. I was pleading and twisting and struggling to get away, which only turned him on more. It felt like hours before he let go. Then he did it again. Then he paused.

“Do you think maybe you could masturbate now?”

“Yes. Please. Please let me masturbate.”

I masturbated for him. But unfortunately, once he gets into “hurty” mode, he doesn’t come out of it easily. So while I masturbated, he continued to pinch and pull my nipples and then he bit them! That hurts so bad! I begged him not to bite and he laughed.

“Fine, I’ll choke you instead. But don’t you dare stop masturbating or I’ll hurt you worse.”

He put his hands around my neck and slowly increased the pressure. If he felt me slow down, he’d remind me that he would hurt me much worse if I stopped.

I came with his hands around my neck. What have I become?

How I asked for a punishment

This has been a very challenging week. We had our first real disagreement on Thursday, then went away on a business trip from Friday through Monday. We had another minor disagreement over the weekend, brought on I think by not having any alone time at all. I guess we are well past vanilla, given that even 3 days of pure vanilla interactions made us very edgy and irritable.

I say pure vanilla, but we still managed to have crazy sex a couple of times a day; once at sunset, both of us standing outside the van with my face pushed into the passenger seat. Richard saw a huge shooting star but couldn’t get me up from the seat fast enough to see it. 😦 Another time on a couch and WE ALMOST GOT WALKED IN ON OMFG. Richard was amused, I was horrified.

But I digress. I have been very bad. Seriously. I did not tell Richard about something important that happened to me, because it had to do with a past relationship and it was embarrassing. It has been torturing me that I hadn’t told him about it, and I finally did today (and do NOT email and ask what it was, cuz I will NOT tell you. honest. too embarrassing.)

He was wonderful. I was scared that he was going to break up with me and I was crying like crazy and he was so wonderful. He told me that he loved me and he knew who I was and that no matter what, he still owned me and that wasn’t going to change.

We talked about it for a while, and then I ASKED FOR A PUNISHMENT.

I can’t believe I did that. First of all, I am so NOT a masochist. Also, I try hard to behave well AND I have a proud streak a mile wide. So asking for a punishment – I really never thought that would happen. But I so want to be over feeling guilty about this, that I asked for a punishment.

What a dumb idea. Asking a sadist for a punishment. What on earth was I thinking?

Here’s the punishment. Remember I’m still a bit anxious about anal intercourse? And we’ve only done it four times?

My punishment is: I don’t get to cum again until he has cum in my ass.

Which he has never done.

Which he has seldom ever done in his life.

Which means that I will be begging him to fuck me in the ass.

Which I could never in my wildest imaginings have imagined myself doing.

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In fact, I got a spanking today because he was fucking me (NOT in my ass, just to torment me) and I said “you’re not going to cum in my pussy, are you?”, hoping that he would flip me over and cum in my ass. This was seen as disrespectful, and I can see how it was seen that way.

Harumph, nonetheless. Looks like another challenging week is ahead of me.

Permission to pee

Midnight. Amy is lying beside me again tonight, sleeping. Fucked out, and resting. She woke once to go pee again, and I play briefly with her breasts and nipples as she settles back in again smiling beside me. I see the shape of her nude body under the duvet as she stirs again, awaking confused and asking me what is happening. She knows I plan to wake her and fuck her again before morning, but not yet, and I let her slide back to sleep.

We went to bed early tonight; Amy wasn’t feeling good and wanted to rest. Watching her get undressed, she had on matching red lace panties and bra. Very tempting. But she’s not feeling good, so I passed on the temptation, and let her sleep up in the bed beside me.

Not sure how things started, but I think she actually woke me up a few hours later. A long, slow exploration, with my hands paying extra attention to her ass cheeks, then pinning her down and playing with her breasts, as she began to writhe and moan with the rough handling of her nipples.

I felt very tired, and only half awake, more in a mood to control her than to use her, so I sent her off to pee. She hates that – she has to ask permission whenever she wants to pee, which she has now gotten used to, but when I make her pee it still has a very powerful effect on her.

She comes back to the bed feeling different. Embarrassed, and subdued. Not nearly as openly excited as when I had been toying with her just before, but I know her well enough to know that the wild child is still just beneath the surface.

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Amy’s sexy barely clad ass that I played with tonight.

I take her back in my arms, and begin to play with her body again, playing with her ass, separating her ass cheeks and stroking and squeezing along her ass crack, and manhandling her breasts. I tease her about being embarrassed briefly, but then begin to work more on building her need. Holding her, pinning her down, kissing her neck.

Before long she is openly aroused; not yet willing to beg me to fuck her, but reaching over and gripping my leg, wriggling, and panting quietly.

I flip her over onto her belly, and drag her ass into the air toward me. Her favorite position, and one that I know builds her need to cum. I press my cock into her wetness, and she buries her face in the bedding.

We fuck.

She moans, and reaches between her legs repeatedly to play with my cock, and to hold my balls as I fuck her from behind. She wants me to cum in her, though she doesn’t say so, but she knows it’s hard for me to fight it off when she plays with me like this.

And she’s right. It is hard to keep from cumming for a few brief moments, but I hold it off and continue fucking her. She makes quiet moans, very unlike the ones she makes when I fuck her in the missionary position. Those moans sound almost surprised, as if with each thrust she is startled to realize that I am still fucking deep into her; quiet little delicate cries before the wildness takes over, and she begins to bite and claw.

From behind she usually begs, whimpering to be fucked, or asking “please please please.” I don’t know what she is asking for. She doesn’t either – she never remembers saying it, it just flows from some primal place of submission whenever I fuck her from behind, my hands gripping her pelvic girdle and pulling her back hard onto my cock as I fuck her.

I tease her about being my slut, and ask her if she needed to fuck like this. I force the admission from her; she does not ever willingly admit her need.

We fuck until exhaustion, and I lay beside her stroking her body, placing my knee between her legs and inviting her to press her pussy against my knee if she needs relief, as I twist her nipples hard, making her writhe and anxious to fuck more. Cruelly I forbid her to touch herself, as I feel her need to cum growing.

My fingers dance along her pussy, teasing, and I suck on her nipples. Amy can cum from just having her nipples teased, so her arousal is extreme, and she begs for me to touch her clit, or to let her touch it.

I take her hands and force her to touch all around her pussy, but do not allow her to touch her clit. Her clit is off limits. She whimpers with frustration, but obeys, her own fingers now driving her need higher. She bites my shoulders, probably unaware of what she is doing, as she has done before.

I taunt her.

Then I let her play with her clit, but refuse to let her cum. I force her to masturbate, but don’t let her cum, and she wriggles and writhes and gasps. I want to see if she can cum with my cock in her, and we try that briefly, but it forces her legs too wide, and I am unhappy with the results, so I make her masturbate while I lie alongside her and play with her tits, telling her what sexy tits she has.’

She hates the word “tits.”

I manhandle her tits roughly, humiliating and exciting her, and she masturbates frantically. She pleads for me to allow her to cum, but I take my time, then I tell her to cum, or I will punish her by making her sleep on the floor, which she knows I am anxious to make her do. I demand that she cum now, or be punished.

A few more tense moments as she urges herself towards release, and then suddenly she cums.

Loudly, this time, and writhing on the bed. I am surprised; usually she goes rigid, and cums in dead, intense silence, the ripples flowing over her body, but this time she cums moaning and holding her cunt, legs squeezed together as she rocks back and forth.

I force her legs open, and enter her as she feels the aftershocks, and begin to fuck her again. Normally I would cum in her, but I am too tired tonight. I slow, and hold her, the two of us whispering to each other was we slowly come to a halt amid gentle kisses and happy smiles.

It’s been an hour and a half.

She lies beside me now, nude, sleeping and breathing deeply. When I finish this post, I will reach over for her, my hands playing across her ass, my fingers and lips on her nipples, and I will press her down onto her back, open her legs with my knee, and fuck her again.

The night is dark and silent, and I feel her body beckon.